Sick

I am sick.  I have had the H1N1 flu for more than 2 weeks now.  It started with a sore throat, then progressed through the usual – fever, sneezing, headache, coughing, runny nose, and extreme fatigue.  The fever, headache, snuffling, and coughing continue to hang on, along with the fatigue.  My joints are screaming at me.  Before I caught the flu, I had already been feeling ill for 3 weeks with debilitating fatigue, sleeping until noon or 1:00 p.m. I could barely get off the couch when I was awake and felt like I was constantly drugged.  The worst thing, besides feeling rotten, is that I can’t do anything around the house.  The dishes pile up for days.  The bathroom is unspeakably horrifying.  I finally dusted and vacuumed on Saturday, and on Sunday I could hardly move.  I get exhausted folding a basket of laundry.  We have practically been the sole support of our local Pizza Hut – thank goodness they also have pasta for when anybody is tired of pizza.  Their chicken alfredo pasta is quite good.

Before I started feeling really bad I had started a huge reorganizing project in the house.  My husband built a lovely storage shed for me and I need to reorganize all the storage in the house, get rid of tons of stuff, and move 50% of the stuff from the laundry room to the shed.  We remodeled the former 2-car garage into our master bedroom suite, and one of the garage windows ended up in our walk-in closet.  The shed is attached to the side of the house where the window is, and the window has become a pass-through into the shed.  I got as far as piling up a hill of things in the closet (ready to go through to the shed), and a veritable mountain range of empty storage bins and stuff-that-needs-to-be-reorganized around the bedroom and in the other closet.  These various geological formations remain.  The office has not escaped the changing landscape, piled with unfiled paperwork and my photo framing project(s), along with a bunch of vintage Avon products that would love to find a new home. (Anyone?  I will GIVE the Avon away to anyone who wants it – if you can’t pick it up you will just pay shipping charges…)  Needless to say, I am embarrassed, MORTIFIED, at the thought that anyone might visit.  So far I’ve been able to head people off with the threat of flu; I suppose I’ll have to claim that I read a study that shows that flu germs linger long after symptoms are gone…at least until the house is presentable again.

The stress of the mess is not helping my recovery.  Disorganization makes me anxious.  Something else that isn’t helping is the fact that for the past 2 months I have been getting more and more stupid.  This started a month before I even got the flu.  I cannot read.  If I had an idea or an opinion, it would be impossible to articulate it.  Simple words completely escape me.  Thinking ahead more than 10 minutes gives me a headache.  My legs and feet are freezing all the time and my knees hurt, especially on stairs.  I get a headache and feel hot when I stand up.  Right now I’m wearing 2 pairs of socks (1 wool), and legwarmers under my sweatpants legs.  And slippers. 

 

I finally get to see the doctor next week, to check my thyroid levels.  I called the doctor’s office in September and the soonest appointment available was in December.  I requested that they call me if there was a cancellation, and they did, but then postponed that appointment.

 

[Please note: I wrote this about 2 weeks ago.  I finally recovered (mostly) from the flu after 3 weeks of being sick, but I still have a cough.  I saw the doctor last Friday and she ordered enough tests for them to need to take 5 or 6 vials of my blood to test.  It took so long for them to take the blood that I got woozy and had to drink some juice and stay in the chair for awhile.  I was feeling better until one of the phlebotomists brought a patient in and they kept saying the word “veins”.  They must have said it 15 times before I had to ask them to stop.  Anyway, I hope to get the test results soon.]

Update

An update on the bill banning cell phone use without a hands-free device while driving — it passed.  Bleah.

Control

I don’t understand why Oregon’s government is trying to ban talking on handheld mobile phones while driving, but not using speakerphone devices…First breed-specific dog bans, and now this.  How would a handheld device differ from a handsfree device if it’s the TALKING that is distracting?  And if it’s the “2 hands on the wheel” or “paying attention” issue that is of concern, what about the people who are eating a Big Mac while they’re driving?  How about digging for that last French fry at the bottom of the bag, holding a conversation with passengers, clicking through songs on their iPod, sipping on their vanilla soy latte?  Putting on lipstick?  Rubbernecking while passing an auto accident on the freeway?  What about the guy who ran into my sister’s car a few years ago – who admitted he was staring at a pretty girl’s derriere?  Any thinking person would know that those are just as prevalent and certainly just as distracting.  If they ban ONE dangerous item or activity, shouldn’t they ban everything?  Where are the statistics for accidents caused by someone eating a messy hamburger and trying to shift a manual transmission while steering with their knee? (Don’t laugh, I’ve known people who do that…!)  HONESTLY.  Where do they come up with these ideas?  Oh wait, Washington and California have already passed the same bill! 

 

What about enforcement of this law?  There is a law already on the books here that makes it illegal for drivers under 18 to talk on the phone and drive, but a teenager could only receive a ticket for the violation if they were stopped for another violation.  Police say that the law is difficult to enforce.  In “these economic times” I really doubt that the legislature is prepared to budget for the extra manpower it would take to enforce this phone ban.  How would they prove it, when someone could claim that they were just scratching their head and not holding a phone to their ear?  I mean, all you’d have to do is hang up and stuff the phone back in your purse or pocket.  Ultimately, what would it prove if the government even took the trouble to subpoena someone’s phone and/or phone records?  It would prove someone was on a call at a certain time, not whether they were actually HOLDING the phone at their ear. 

 

At least one lucid Oregon senator called this “a stupid bill”.  It actually passed in the Senate and is now headed for the House.  Let’s hope Oregon’s state representatives keep (or start) thinking logically and dump this one.

 

Please understand that I’m not saying people shouldn’t be held accountable for allowing themselves to become distracted while driving – if they cause injury to a person or pet, or damage to a vehicle/mailbox/house, whatever.  I would probably err on the side of super-accountability.  What makes me uncomfortable is that many people feel that for us to be safe, the government should control every small detail of our lives.  This detail is not one that the government needs to control. 

 

Now, if we’re going to talk of details that might be appropriately controlled by our government…I can think of a few things.  What about you? Hmmm…

 

God’s Glue

I received this in an email from a friend today…SO neat!

A doctor wrote:

“A couple of days ago I was running (I use that term very loosely) on my treadmill, watching a DVD sermon by Louie Giglio…and I was BLOWN AWAY! I want to share what I learned….but I fear not being able to convey it as well as I want. I will share anyway.

He (Louie) was talking about how inconceivably BIG our God is….how He spoke the universe into being…how He breathes stars out of His mouth that are huge raging balls of fire…etc. etc. Then He went on to speak of how this star-breathing, universe creating God ALSO knitted our human bodies together with amazing detail and wonder. At this point I am LOVING it (fascinating from a medical standpoint, you know.) ….and I was remembering how I was constantly amazed during medical school as I learned more and more about God’s handiwork. I remember so many times thinking….’How can ANYONE deny that a Creator did all of this???’

Louie went on to talk about how we can trust that the God who created all this, also has the power to hold it all together when things seem to be falling apart…how our loving Creator is also our sustainer.

And then I lost my breath.

And it wasn’t because I was running my treadmill, either!!!

It was because he started talking about laminin.

I knew about laminin. Here is how wikipedia describes them: ‘Laminins are a family of proteins that are an integral part of the structural scaffolding of basement membranes in almost every animal tissue.’  You see…..laminins are what hold us together….LITERALLY. They are cell adhesion molecules. They are what holds one cell of our bodies to the next cell.. Without them, we would literally fall apart. And I knew all this already. But what I didn’t know is what laminin LOOKED LIKE.

But now I do.

And I have thought about it a thousand times since (already)…..

Here is what the structure of laminin looks like…AND THIS IS NOT a ‘Christian portrayal’ of it….if you look up laminin in any scientific/medical piece of literature, this is what you will see…

Now tell me that our God is not the coolest!!!

Amazing.

The glue that holds us together…ALL of us….is in the shape of the cross.

Immediately Colossians 1:15-17 comes to mind.

‘He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.

For by him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth , visible and invisible,

whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities;

all things were created by him and for him.

He is before all things,

and in him all things HOLD TOGETHER. ‘

Colossians 1:15-17.

Call me crazy. I just think that is very, very, very cool.

Thousands of years before the world knew anything about laminin, Paul penned those words. And now we see that from a very LITERAL standpoint, we are held together…one cell to another….by the cross.

You would never in a quadrillion years convince me that is anything other than the mark of a Creator who knew EXACTLY what laminin ‘glue’ would look like long before Adam even breathed his first breath!!”

‘Faith is not knowing what the future holds, but knowing who holds the future…’”

Fonts

I was just reading over my last few blog posts and noticed that the posts are in different fonts and the fonts are in different sizes.  So my readers ( the 2 or 3 of you there are!) don’t think I’m completely off my rocker, I wanted to let you know the reason for this, as I just figured it out myself a few weeks ago. 

I have always used Microsoft Word to write my blog entries and would copy and paste them into my WordPress dashboard. It often took 4 or 5 times to publish each post because they just didn’t seem to translate from Word to WordPress – it would apply 2 different fonts, change the font, add all sorts of gibberish, etc. etc.  I was reading along in one of the WordPress forums, and found a post that said NEVER to use Word because of the reasons above.  This forum post suggested downloading Windows Live Writer and using that instead.  EUREKA!  It works perfectly (so far) and even lets me set it up to publish directly from Live Writer without going to my WordPress Dashboard.  It’s EASY, which makes it a lot more fun.  It can also be set up for other blog sites.

So, I apologize for the past non-readability of my posts (especially for the ones published in tiny font).  Probably 98% of bloggers had figured this out long before I did, but anyway, hooray for consistency!

Why Are the Mentally Ill Expected to Advocate for Themselves?

Consider this:  

Someone you love very much is driving down the road on a routine errand.  It has gradually gotten darker outside.  Suddenly, a truck driving without headlights veers across the road and smashes into your loved one’s car.  Your loved one couldn’t see it coming, and could do nothing to prevent the crash.  The truck speeds away into the night.  Your loved one, while seriously injured, manages to find the cell phone and press the speed dial.  You barely hear that your loved one has been in an accident and the location of the crash.  You drive to the scene and see your loved one trapped in a crumpled automobile, both legs fractured, blood gushing from a large wound where his or her head cracked the windshield.  Your loved one is confused and doesn’t know what happened.  Your loved one sees you and, expecting a loving response, cries “There’s something wrong!  I’m bleeding!  I can’t feel my legs!  I can’t move!  It hurts!  Please, please help me!”

What do you do?

Do you stand and stare at your loved one while he or she sobs uncontrollably and begs for your help?

Do you walk up to your loved one and, instead of calling 911 or rushing to comfort, say to him or her, “You need to think more positively.  Why are you acting this way?  There’s no reason for you to be so upset!”

Do you then scold your loved one, insisting that it is his or her responsibility to figure out what’s wrong and fix it?

Do you expect your loved one to extricate him- or herself from the situation and drag him- or herself to the hospital while in excruciating pain, before he or she bleeds to death?

When your loved one continues to plead for your help, do you ignore the cries, turn away, and leave your loved one in agony and feeling rejected and unloved?

OF COURSE NOT!!

When you hear your loved one’s cries, you drive as fast as you can to reach him or her, calling 911 on the way, giving them the exact location of your loved one’s car, demanding that the paramedics hurry!  When you get to your loved one and you hear his or her sobs and cries for help, your heart breaks – you rush to the wrecked vehicle to hold your loved one and try to comfort him or her.  You pray out loud; and assure him or her that you will always be there and that you will do everything you can to help.  You cry with your loved one because it hurts you to see him or her in so much pain.  When the paramedics arrive, you explain to them what your loved one has told you and make sure they are doing what needs to be done.  You ride in the ambulance as it careens toward the hospital, because you can’t stand to leave your loved one’s side for even a moment while he or she is going through this ordeal.  If your loved one lashes out at you or behaves strangely, you aren’t offended because you understand that he or she is confused and in pain.  You stay at your loved one’s side in the hospital and pay attention to every detail of the doctor’s words and your loved one’s treatment.  If your loved one isn’t healing, you insist that the doctor do something about it.  You don’t mind watching over your loved one’s care, because you know he or she isn’t capable of doing it alone.  Your know your loved one needs help.

Now consider this: 

Someone you love very much is moving along is his or her daily life routine when things gradually begin getting darker.  Suddenly one day, your loved one crashes.  Your loved one couldn’t see it coming, and could do nothing to prevent the crash.  He or she begs for your help.  You come to talk and see your loved one broken, bewildered, and in pain.  Your loved one doesn’t know what is happening.  He or she, expecting a loving response, cries “There’s something wrong!  It hurts!  I can’t control my life!  I can’t move!  Please, please help me!”

What do you do?

Do you stand and stare at your loved one while he or she sobs uncontrollably and begs for your help?

Do you walk up to your loved one and, instead of rushing to comfort, say to him or her, “You need to think more positively.  Why are you acting this way?  There’s no reason for you to be so upset!”

Do you then scold your loved one, insisting that it is his or her responsibility to figure out what’s wrong and fix it?

Do you expect your loved one to extricate him- or herself from the situation and find his or her own help, before his or her health and life completely deteriorates?

When your loved one continues to plead for your help, do you ignore the cries, turn away, and leave your loved one in agony and feeling rejected and unloved?

 

Consider this:

Why is someone with a mental illness not as worthy of attention as someone with a physical illness or injury?  Why do we tell someone having mental problems to “buck up,” “figure it out,” or “stop behaving that way”?

Would we tell someone with severe physical injuries that they are weak because they need medication or other medical treatment?   Would we blame and berate them for not making themselves better?

Why, then, are the mentally ill expected to advocate for themselves?

Mental Illness and Medication

I was just reading the Bipolar Disorder blog on “About.com”  and found an article called “Christianity vs. Psychology – Opposing Views?”   It addresses from a biblical point of view the idea that Christians shouldn’t take medication or get treatment for mental illness.

Many people believe that those with mental illness are to blame for the disease that plagues their lives.  These people would show compassion to someone with a birth defect or cancer, or go out of their way to encourage and help a person with any other chronic illness, but would condemn a person suffering from depression or bipolar disorder for taking medication that allows them to function comfortably and effectively.

Diabetics need to take medicine to stay alive and healthy.  Would these people who say taking medication for mental health is wrong also deny medication to a diabetic, or refuse to take someone with a broken leg to a hospital for treatment, or tell a cancer patient he can’t have chemotherapy?  It is cruel to blame the mentally ill for their disease, just as it would be ludicrous to blame a child with cerebral palsy for his disease. People with mental illness should be shown the same concern that one would show to anyone with a chronic physical disease.

The article is at http://bipolar.about.com/od/religion/a/christian_views.htm.

This post is a lead-in to my next post.

Normal

Yes, I know, I don’t even write as much as my dog does (http://littlemissjackie.wordpress.com)!  Maybe someone could give me some ideas.  Don’t you hate how when you decide you want to write something, every thought flies out the window?  My friend said the same thing on her blog some time back – I actually wrote most of this paragraph before I read that in her post, so I guess it’s not just me.   It’s just like how the decision to go out to eat automatically erases all memory of local restaurants.

Plus, I wasn’t sleeping well for awhile, and when that happens my brain can barely figure out where my shoes are in the morning.  Oh wait, did I brush my teeth?   When I have days where my mind is really lucid, I spend all day running around doing all the jobs that have been languishing too long.  (I love the word “languish”.  It sounds like the undone jobs are lying on a couch with their hand on their forehead, sighing a lot.)

The other day, I listed one thing on eBay and did, like, 3 loads of laundry.  That was the extent of my activity.  I don’t think I ever got to the dishes.  The day after that, I went to 4 garage sales (bought a lamp and a muffin tin – you can never have too many muffin tins), dusted and vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom (even the shower and the rubber baseboards – AND washed the shower curtains), baked a batch of dog snacks and 2 loaves of banana bread, took a shower, went to the post office and the bead store, and made stuffed green peppers for dinner. Oddly, this is what I would like to consider “normal”.  Unfortunately, this “normal” only happens in my life about 2 days a month.   Other umpteen days of the month are spent lamenting my perceived lack of accomplishment and wishing I could have a “normal” day.  “I wish I was normal so I could ________, or _________, or even ________!”  (Fill in the blanks).

I read a Cathy cartoon where the size she considered “normal” for herself was a size she had attained once for 5 minutes years before, thus setting her up for disappointment every time she tried on a new pair of jeans because she wasn’t her “normal” size.   It’s funny, because it’s true.

Kite Man

Hey, does anyone know where I could find a video of the Kite Man commercial put out by Pacific Power in Portland, OR in the 1970s?  It was a public service announcement aimed at preventing electricity-related injuries due to kite flying.  To this day when anyone says “Ever?” I shriek “NEVER!!” in my head, and when I hear the word “frogs” I immediately think “I like frogs!”(even though I really don’t).  I want to show the video to my children so they will understand me better…!

 

I just found the old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup commercial (the one with Donny Most from Happy Days) on YouTube and showed it to my son – “You got chocolate in my peanut butter!  You got peanut butter on my chocolate!”  I also still hum the “Reese’s PEAnut Butter Cup” jingle when I eat a Reese’s.  And we didn’t even have a TV when I was growing up – we had to watch the neighbor’s TV.  My sister and I must have watched the neighbors’ TV more than I remember!

 

Why do we remember these unimportant tidbits from childhood and not the more important things?  I was listening to “Radio Lab” on NPR the other day.  The consensus was that our brains are supposed to keep significant details in storage, and fade out the insignificant ones while we sleep.   Maybe I’m just not collecting enough significant details to replace the insignificant in the closets of my brain.  Maybe the closets of my brain are like the closets in my dear grandma’s house – so stuffed with silly things that you couldn’t fit another thing in. 

 

I cook bacon for my son’s breakfast every morning lately.  The bacon smell swirls stubbornly in the air and won’t go out the open doors and windows.  It refuses to be slurped up into the bathroom fan or filtered out through the fan over the stove.  When I open the door after coming home from taking Benjamin to school I’m enfolded in a bear hug of bacon.  But, it reminds me of my grandparents’ kitchens, and that’s one of those significant, important, comforting memories.  I love that memory, so – hooray, bacon!  And hooray for anything that brings a significant thought out of storage.

God Has Not Forgotten You

GOD HAS NOT FORGOTTEN YOU.

 

 

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation , will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

                                                                        Romans 8:38-39